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Transform your Negative Self-Talk

By Kristin Lyle


Self-talk refers to the inner monologues and feelings that are a part of your unconscious mind. It is common for us to criticize ourselves without realizing it when we encounter difficulties in life. The more negative we think about ourselves, the less productive we are. We become hopeless and depressed. It also affects our relationships. You can use these 4 steps to identify your negative self-talk when faced with daily life stressors and change it into a positive healthy one.


Step 1: Identify your negative self-talk.

  • Write it down.

Step 2: Do your best to stop your negative self-talk with the SOS.


S - Stop: Tell yourself to STOP thinking about the irrational, negative thought. O - Observe: the message you are sending yourself (how does it make you feel?). S - Shift: your attention and delay your response by using positive coping skills (take a walk, deep breathing, meditation, take a bath, or whatever relaxes you).

Step 3: Take the identified self-talk from step one and challenge it.


  • Evidence to support your negative thoughts

  • Disprove your negative thoughts

  • Write down experiences or proof that supports your negative thought.

  • Write down experiences or proof that contradicts your negative thought.


Step 4: Change your negative self-talk to a positive one:

  • Write the opposite of your negative thought from step one.

This practice will help you to think about yourself and others in a positive manner which will help to enhance self-esteem, self-confidence and build healthy relationships.


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